This is old film, but I just see it. Well, the story is about a young woman. She love her job in the Morning Show as executive producer. She got fired from her job, then she look for another job. Fortunately, she got another job in another TV station as executive producer, but she has to make the Morning show rating goes up. So, it was very hard, since morning show was not seen by many people, and then she got anchor who couldn’t work together. She tried her best, even she slept in the anchor’s house so that this anchor could go for their first show. Everyday she started work early morning, after midnight, actually. Then she never stop working until night again. A hardworker girl, a person who love the job. She received call everywhere, everytime. She almost broke up with her boyfriend because she did her work anywhere, anytime.
Maybe she sound very weird. Some people maybe also think that she’s crazy. Anytime, anywhere, all she can do just working. She doesn’t have anything in her mind except working. Work,work and work..and finally she can make the morning show successful. With her team, with her crazy idea, then..she could achieve her goal, good rating on her show. Yes, it’s a happy ending story. Hard working girl could achieve her goal. It sounds classic or maybe it sounds normal, but what I really notice is how she’s going deep into her work. Nothing could stop her from working. Night and day, every minute, she spend her day for…working. Yes, she’s an workalholic. But, is it wrong to be like her. Is it weird to be in love with your job so that nothing else you could talk about except work??

I asked for strength.
God gave me difficulties to make me
strong.

I asked for wisdom.
God gave me problems to solve.

I asked for prosperity.
God gave me brawn and brain to
work.

I asked for courage.
God gave me dangers to overcome.

I asked for patience.
God placed me in situations where I
was forced to wait.

I asked for love.
God gave me troubled people to help.

I asked for favors.
God gave me opportunities.

I received nothing I wanted.
I received everything I needed.

by: unkown

AND GOD SAID NO

I asked God to take away my pride,
And God said “NO”
He said it was not for him to take
away
But for me to give up

I asked God to make my
handicapped child whole,
And God said “NO”
He said her spirit is whole
Her body is only temporary.

I asked God to grant me patience,
And God said “NO”.
He said that patience is a byproduct
of tribulation,
It isn’t granted, it is earned.

I asked God to give me happiness,
And God said “No”
He said He gives blessings,
Happiness is up to me.

I asked God to spare me pain,
And God said “NO”
He said, “Suffering draws you apart
from worldly
cares and brings you closer to me.

I asked God to make my spirit
grow
And God said “No”
He said I must grow on my own,
But he will prune me to make me
fruitful.

I asked God to help me love others
As much as He loves me,
And God said, “Ah, finally you
have the idea.”

from : http://www.jewishmag.com/20MAG/ANON/anon.htm

Lord, make me an instrument of your peace, Where there is hatred, let me sow love; where there is injury, pardon; where there is doubt, faith; where there is despair, hope; where there is darkness, light; where there is sadness, joy; O Divine Master, grant that I may not so much seek to be consoled as to console; to be understood as to understand; to be loved as to love. For it is in giving that we receive; it is in pardoning that we are pardoned; and it is in dying that we are born to eternal life.

Just wanna document this days..that’s why i want to write..

I had resigned from my job…and still waiting for my last day..and the day when I would get really poor because I’ve got to pay the pinalty..the consequences of resigning from my job now…

Ehm.. I feel sad..for leaving some people here..But I also feel happy for being free of some people..hehehe..

I don’t know what I’ve done wrong..but there’s a kinda conflict between me and a group of women who is in charge of administration. I don’t know why..but they don’t want to give their smile to me..I don’t know my mistake..but it seems that I can’t get along with them… But I think..I get along very well with youngs people here..and also people from technical dept and drivers group…I really don’t know why..but I’ve got problem with my boss..hehehhe..

Well, pointing to the title of this..I actually get scared of my future.. JC has guaranted my future.. But sometimes I’m afraid of making wrong decision, wrong choice that will make me unsuccess. So, it still come up to my mind…will I be success after this?Can I be a better person on my new job? Can I adapt well??It’s really scared me..so what I con do now is just pray..hoping to get strenth from my Lord..and I believe..He will..so JC, I want to walk with You..

Then.. I chatted with my big manager..I mean..my high level manager.. He said to me that I wouldn’t be success in my new job if my style was like nowadays..so, he asked me to do Psycological test based on Jung’s theory..also called MBTI. He tried to describe my personality..and..this is what I’ve got..

ISTJ – “Trustee”. Decisiveness in practical affairs. Guardian of time- honored institutions. Dependable. 11.6% of total population.

Free Jung Personality Test (similar to Myers-Briggs/MBTI)

I also do test on another web..the result is :

Your Type is ISTJ

Introverted	Sensing	Thinking	Judging
Strength of the preferences %
11	1	62	67

ISTJ type description by D.Keirsey
ISTJ Identify Your Career with Jung Career Indicator™     ISTJ Famous Personalities
ISTJ type description by J. Butt and M.M. Heiss
<!– ISTJ Career Choices by Jung Career Indicator™     ISTJ Famous Personalities –><!–

–><!–
ISTJ Lifestyle Preferences by Your Type Lifestyle™ –><!–
ISTJ type description by J. Butt and M.M. Heiss –>

Qualitative analysis of your type formula
 You are:

• slightly expressed introvert
• slightly expressed sensing personality
• distinctively expressed thinking personality
• distinctively expressed judging personality

According to this result..I am suited to do:

<!–

Computer Programming
Technology Education	<!– –>
<!––>Engineering	<!– –>
Mechanics/<!––>Automotive Repair
Management
<!––>Management	<!–  –>
<!––>Accounting
Sport Coaching
Health Care
Physician
Dentist/Dental Assistant
Nursing	<!     –>
Law/Enforcement
Law
Military Training

( http://www.humanmetrics.com/vocation/JCI.asp?EI=-11&SN=0.6&TF=62&JP=67 )

ehm..so I am suited to this job..

maybe..

and now my prayer is..I can do everything..very very well…

Amen

 I give this post title Dream and Barrier and should add.. reality. Well, I want to write it because I think I’ve got many difficulties whenever I wanna reach my dreams. What is my dream? The simple one is..to work and live abroad. I find it very difficult because..first, I don’t know how to do it. To go abroad for me is very expensive. None of my family ever go abroad, except my aunt but it was just for 1-3 days for doing job. I try to get the scholarship for getting master degree, but I haven’t achieved it. Now, I get a job which can take me to many places, but I haven’t started yet. And there are many problem I’ve got to face before I could start working there. First, I haven’t gotten the offer from them. They said they would hire me, but i still got no offer till now. Then, I couldn’t pass the english assesment. I really don’t know why, is my english that bad? Because I admit, I’ve got difficulties on doing conversation, even on my mother tongue. So, I really don’t know what to do now. I am just waiting and waiting..Beacuse there’s another problem.. I’ve got to pay so that I could go out from my job right now..

Well, if someone ask..why you want to quit from your job now??To be honest, I’m afraid of my future. I think I can’t do self-development here. The skill which I need is very small portion. I just got to do calibration on measuring instruments. The troubleshooting and calibration for field instrument are not under my responsibility. I’m getting tired of reading the manual. I’ve read many manual..but if I don’t have a chance to do the troubleshooting or facing the instrument by myself, what for? I really don’t know how to motivate myself now…The promise from the HRD is nonsense. Going abroad by my company right now is very impossible. They don’t give me a journey to another province, so how can they fly me to another country?

I really get desperate again this time.. I lay my hope to reach my dream in my next job..but there isn’t any offer..so, what should I do??

JC..please, answer me… T_T

Starting from the definition..

Loneliness is an emotional state in which a person experiences a powerful feeling of emptiness and isolation. Loneliness is more than the feeling of wanting company or wanting to do something with another person. Loneliness is a feeling of being cut off, disconnected and alienated from other people. The lonely person may find it difficult or even impossible to have any form of meaningful human contact. Lonely people often experience a subjective sense of inner emptiness or hollowness, with feelings of separation or isolation from the world. (http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Loneliness)

Actually, there’s a lot of information about loneliness on wikipedia web. But, I wanna add some information..

The first, from the discussion session, loneliness is not a sin. It could be the effect of sins or the cause of sins, but it’s not a sin. Loneliness was felt by Jesus, and still HE has no sin.

What are the causes of loneliness? From the discussion, it could be low self esteem from tha person, the technology which makes people separate each other, and the environment.

 Well, the topics made me thinking about myself. Sometimes, without somebody notice, I get lonely. I am surrounded by people who eats together, chats, but still i feel like i’m alone. I can’t understand what they say or I can say that I feel like I’m disconnected to them. I don’t know why and I don’t know how. But the feeling just appear.

Back to the retreat session, I was also taught about self image. At that time, I got to know about self image, how I describe myself, the fear inside of me and I also taught about being confident. The fear inside can be categorized into 4 fear, which are fear of failure, fear of rejection, fear of humiliation and fear of punished. Then, I got myself into category fear of rejection. Yeah, I atually feel that, but I think I have been able to handle it. Well, thinking about the past time, I always tried to entertain people. I had been a selfgoing person when I was at college..then, I’m back again to that fear now. And actually, I really-really realize that feeling that I always want people to be amused because I was told that I’m not good by the management (not directly actually) and many people said to me that to get the promotion, you should impress your boss. It really turns my mind around, how to get people amazed. Honestly, I’ve never thought about things like that. I used to be a person who rarely talk, but the action can show that i’m dilligent and hardworker and i am suitable to get the prize. Now, I reaaly have no idea how to do that.

I actually don’t know how  to express myself, but I just want to close the post by writing the general solutions for loneliness. First, we have to realize that we are lonely. Second, we must know the cause of our loneliness. Then, we’ve got to accept things that can’t be changed, ex. our phisical appearance. Next, we can change what can be changed. For all these solutions, the most important thing is, we need to get GOD into our life to do all these things.

Actually, I’m working on the solutions now. I’m trying to do that although i’m still confused, how can I interact better with people around me, especially people from the office. Whenever I’m at church, everything is possible. I’ve got people who really care about me. At the office, everything is harder. All I can do now is praying.. JC, help me please..

Or..anyone can give me a solutions??